When I go off on people, yeah- I do want others to feel the intense pain I feel.
I show what I feel. Yes, it is disturbed. It is dark and violent. It is so poison and venomous.
Now, think about it. Do you believe I’m going to act on what I show you?
Of course not. Do you think I would openly televise myself if I were planning to do something stupid?
Of course not. This is why I vent through words. This is my healthy outlet. I can pour my emotions out onto the page and no one is the worse for wear.
I do take you to extreme realms, sometimes. It’s nothing worse than any of the other authors who write extreme material.
Why? Because it’s fiction. I don’t hope any of you burns in flames. Because I know, regardless, we all die somehow. I don’t need to do a damn thing. None of us, in these bodies, are getting out of this world alive.
I also realize that maybe you have those dark thoughts. By reading someone else creating a fictional world where evil lurks, maybe you can keep going. Horror drives me onward and upward. It’s because, I’m disturbed, at times. And disturbing material helps me push forward.
I can distinguish between fiction, and reality. Reality, is a place where I mind my business, if I’m out in public. I’m polite, reserved, and I mostly observe. At the same time, I’ve got a look that is intense. If a person gives me hate, I give it back with my eyes. I don’t even need to say anything, I match body language. So far in my life, no one has challenged me when my eyes and body say, “fuck off”. I don’t want to fight in reality, I mean, given a different time, if I were a Viking on a raid, I would for sure love to battle. But this modern era has nothing to do with Viking raids. If I throw a punch, I’ll be incarcerated, and I don’t want that to happen ever again. So, I mind my business, for the most part.
In fiction, I can let loose, I can paint a vivid picture that reveals the inner workings of a maniac, a high-functioning crazy person. So that’s what I do, sometimes.
Sometimes, it’s fiction.
Try to know when I’m speaking in fiction, even on this website.
You should be able to distinguish between the two, as it relates to me.
You’ve seen me, when I’m doing well. And you know that version of me is of kingly material.
When I write fiction, I’m a dark lord. That’s just how it comes out.