I believe the song is called, Circles. As in, “we’re just running in circles”, as in- this is stupid, we’re not moving forward, we’re not evolving together as a couple.
If I cannot grow with someone else, I must first look inward. Am I selfish? That’s one question I ask myself on a moment to moment basis, every day I’m alive.
The less attached I am to people or things, the less selfish I am as a human being.
I’ve mentioned going with, “maybe”, if there’s a mysterious energy surrounding someone, or something. Maybe means, I have no clue what’s what. Maybe it’s this, maybe it’s that. Either way, I’m open to everything, attached to nothing. When I know something isn’t working, I become unattached. This doesn’t mean I give up, or stop engaging with others.
One thing I learned from a street wise person was, “spread the hustle”. Reach far and wide, don’t just focus on the same people every day. Spread my wings, and shit on as many lands as possible. Lol. Of course that was said in jest, I don’t aim to shit on anyone. I aim to connect with as many sentient human beings as possible. And show compassion for all.
I fight against lust. It’s energy that’s never done me any good. When I give in to lust, chase that lust, and am with that lust…Then, I’ve lost my way. The Jedi, were celibate- meaning, they did not have sexual relations with any other being. Hell, I don’t know, maybe the Jedi didn’t even masturbate. Which to me seems beyond reckoning, even without the lust thing going on, I…Uh…I masturbate once every blue moon. I think it’s healthy for the body. Orgasms are a healthy release, but- again…All things in moderation.
The song, Circles, by Post Malone- has this one specific line of verse, it goes, “you thought that it was special, but it was just the sex, though”… Got damn, that hit me hard the first time I heard it. Because, for some reason, I’m a lover. I mean, I’m a passionate lover. I have fire in my belly, and, from reviews, I guess I’m not halfway bad in between the sheets. HOWEVER…
Something I know now, is, my relationships should not be founded in Eros. I think our word Erotic comes from Eros. There’s a time and place for that stuff, indeed. Without it, we humans probably wouldn’t be creating babies the way we do. Lol. Again, for me, it should not be a relationship founded in lust. I don’t want to use colloquial names, such as babe, sweetie, sweetheart, cutie. It seems to diminish the true nature of the individual. I guess even with my platonic men friends, I will try not to use: dude, man, bro. I want to say the person’s name, or- they know I’m speaking with whoever it is, directly, one on one. When I refer to another person in conversation, I don’t say, “yeah- you know, that one dude from the taco shop”, or, “bro…That one chick, big knockers? You know the chick I’m talking about”. That kind of dialect was best left back in the days of high school.
I want my relationships to be founded in things such as: we both love to read. We both love to write. We both love the outdoors. We both love animals. Tv shows, movies, music. And to adore that person for the person they are. Odds are, we will agree to disagree. That’s okay, that’s part of life. We’re diverse, celebrating oneness. I’m different, you’re different, and that’s beautiful. To dance together, vibe with the music that makes us feel alive. It could be Reggae in Jamaica, I’d be all for it. With cannabis or without cannabis.
Spread your wings. Knowledge, is power. The more educated we are about cultures, and how people are beautifully different, but more or less, the same- we can open ourselves to more possibilities.
I will always and forever be a student of knowledge, and compassion. Knowledge is not mortal, nor is it limited. Knowledge and compassion are two ideals that I can forever improve within. I can always learn to be more compassionate towards my fellow human beings, and I can always learn something new, to become more knowledgeable. I want to apply what I know, to be as much like a Jedi as I can. Wisdom is the fruit of my mind’s eye. To spread good vibes, as a fellow person, to other people, is what I desire. Be it through oration, or narration in the written word. However. It could be a smile. A nod of the head. Reading someone else’s work and give praise. The sky is the limit. The sky becomes space. The universe. Galaxies. Black holes, oh my.
There’s nothing new under the sun. However…
You are unique. The more you do anything, the better you’ll become at whatever it is you do. In my mind, great works are similar, yet different. They seem like this or that, but no- this is it’s own thing. The Count of Monte Cristo, reminds me of, The Gladiator. Similar, yet completely different stories, in different places. I’m just saying, both of those stories, are great works of art. Just an example of what I’m trying to show you, by saying- you are unique. Be relatable, and be specifically you, all at once.
I didn’t develop this word flow overnight. Seemingly, i’ve been told I have an aptitude for this writing business… That’s nice. I don’t let shit like that go to my head. My head is larger than most as I am a giant, but- I don’t got no big head on my shoulders. In fact, I make it a point to rarely bring up my physical appearance, as that is completely irrelevant to my purpose in life, at this time. Maybe it’ll have some positive use at some point, but for now- it doesn’t really matter to me. Not enough to bring it up outside of self deprecation. I figure it’s best to make fun of myself, that way (fingers crossed) I don’t accidentally shit on someone else’s feelings. Cus we all got those feelings don’t we. Some people are sensitive, fragile beings they are. Try to consider the fragile and sensitive folk before saying anything. At least that’s what I try to do. Unfortunately, sometimes- at least someone is going to be upset by what I said. I figure, that’s on that person. Tough titty, is what I would say. I’ll never be able to please everyone, which, kinda bums me out…But I’m not stressing that fact of life, anymore. I’m pretty sure it’s the same for all of us. No one can please everyone, shit- look at God. Poor creator. Lol. Sorry God, you really stir the pot for humans, I’ll tell ya what. Alas, God, is not a person. Maybe God appears as a person at times. But I don’t think that’s what matters. God, the Devil, Buddha, Gandhi- any of these can guide us. I find I do my best, when I’m guided by what seems to be the most relevant to me and any community. So far Buddhism has been working really well for me. Compassion and respect for all sentient life forms. I think sentient means, conscious. Existing the way we’re “supposed” to. So like, getting high all day and not doing a damn thing… I guess that’s, uh- I don’t know. We should both probably go over to dictionary . com and see what the definition for sentient, is.
I’ve talked your brain off enough, for now. Hehe.