I am not Crimson King. I know enough, will admit that I’m not the highest of the high. I am not the almighty. Not the alpha and the omega, yada yada yada.

I do however know my place. Do as I’m destined to do. And we all leave the stage at some point. It’s irrelevant, what comes next. Focus on the stage. That’s where we’re all at, on this stage. Despite who we are, and what level we exist within, it’s about the stage.

Sometimes, I sit on the stage. No longer am I above the stage, invisible to the audience or the puppets.

I’m on the stage. The puppets lay on the floor, arms and legs splayed flat. No puppet moves. None of the puppets do anything at all. I forget sometimes, who and what the puppets are. Since I’m not making the puppets move, it’s a foreign feeling. What am I supposed to do now?

Talk, goddamn puppets! I know you can hear me! Say something, you fucking puppets! No response. The puppets get the best of me sometimes. It’s not about winning or losing.

All serve the beam. The Crimson King.

Every thing and being, has to experience what it’s like to exist in a realm of silence. The empty void, the black space that has no definition. There’s nothing to define, nothing is there- and at the same time, everything must be something, right? There’s the Crimson King, doing what the Crimson King does. I cannot define the void, nor do I understand the void in a way that it doesn’t bother me.

The void makes me feel restless. The puppets are mere puppets. What bothers me is, how and why am I on the stage? That’s not my purpose, is it? All things serve the beam. Everything has a purpose.

The void? It’s not any of you puppets. The void is it’s own thing, the void is the void.

It’s the void that is my master. It beckons me to join in the insanity of having no definition, is pure nothingness. How? What? As a creator, this void drives me to insanity from time to time.

I produce some of my best work when I speak from a mind that’s gone insane. I become delusional after so long, the void eventually breaks me.

Next thing I know I’m back above. Maybe I get bored up above and the Crimson King doesn’t like that. Can’t have a bored puppeteer, that will not be allowed. That’s when I find myself on the stage with puppets. Every time, the void breaks me. Then I’m back. Then I’m broken. I’ve returned! Now I’m in the void, again.

Your endless cycle of misery and pain, isn’t much different from the endless cycle of insanity I am bound to. I know it’s my place and I don’t enjoy going insane. I’m meant to be insane, on occasion. Can’t hurt or destroy the puppets. I do that I lose the essential objects required to put on a good show. Same as the puppets can’t cut the strings. It’s not possible. You puppets are indestructible, as far as objects go. You must be a fixed object, that is immovable, yet- you are what you are.

We all have limits. Different limits exist from thing to thing. Our nature, not the same. At the same time, I’m limited in certain ways, same as you have your own limitations.

There is no freedom for anyone. I may think I’m special, like you think you’re special, but we all serve the beam, one way or another. In the end, that’s the binding power that keeps us connected. We must all play the part we are destined to play.

Crazy, wild, wacky stuff.

Being on the stage of course I write crazy, wild, wacky stuff. I told you so. I said I go insane every time I’m on the stage with the puppets and that fucking goddamn void. Even swearing at the void, changes nothing about our relationship.

We ALL serve the beam. And it’s the Crimson King, who is almighty.

No shit, The Dark Tower. Pretty sure we all knew as much as soon as we saw it. And if some didn’t, it doesn’t matter.

Everyone is bound to serve the purpose they were destined to serve. Somehow I think there never was a choice. I’ve never chosen to be on this stage, never wanted to exist on the level of the stage. It’s non-negotiable. I will be on the stage, whether I want to or not. Nothing I say, do, or think will change this fact. I’m destined to at times exist on the stage. And I’m sure I’ll never understand why I must exist on the stage when I’m here on the stage. Nothing will change that, either.

So don’t be so depressed about who you are. In a different way, same goes for me. I’ll go insane, because I know that’s what always happens. It’ll be good, sometimes great. Everyone goes on unscathed. Worrying is fucking pointless, and a waste of energy. Can’t change it? Then why in the fuck would you stress about that? Doing so will only make you feel worse. Shit part is, can’t leave. Not until we’re elsewhere will we be gone. Nothing will change this. See? I don’t think there’s much change to be had. All of us, are who we are. All of us have a unique purpose. None of us can change. Sure, adjust all you want, you’re still you.

Be good with who you are. Life won’t be as miserable as often as it would otherwise, with this state of mind. Life will happen, always. Life will happen as it’s meant to happen. Life give zero fucks about how we feel about it. It’s going to happen, and our desires for something else are of no consequence to life doing life as life does.

It’s all happening right now. Love it or hate it, feel whatever. It’s coming on.

And on we all go. Until we are gone.

Ramsey Sasquatch Hairy-toe the XVX